He did it before_ He will do it again

As I was preparing to go to Thailand, I’ll admit, I had done some very bad planning and thus ending up with very limited funds. I was two weeks away from getting on the plane, and leaving my family for two months. By this time I was able to save up enough to purchase my airplane ticket and my daddy had offered to pay for my travel insurance. So all I had left was about R200 for a two month trip to a country thousands of kilometers away from my comfortable home. Strangely enough I felt ridiculously calm.

I would describe myself as a “Martha” from the Bible_ quite the control freak, well not pedantically so, but I love having my ducks in a row, I make lists for everything and even when I say I’m having a ‘hippy-kinda’ day I somewhat have a plan in place. So for me to be chilled about only having a R200 for a two month trip was a little super crazy_ well for any one actually lol.

We were planning on selling my car around this time though and I was sure my parents would send some of the funds my way. On the Tuesday of that week, I was on my way home with this very car from the mechanic and enroute I watched as the heat gage went from normal to super- hot in a matter of seconds. And as the gage went up so did my anger. I WAS FURIOUS! I just got back from the mechanic! Was he not supposed to fix it and God? Was this not supposed to be my way of not worrying about money??? I could have screamed!!! When I got back home, I needed to vent and calm down, so I prayed, wrote and read my bible. By the time I opened my bible I was crying like a baby coz this is not supposed to happen this way. I opened up my bible to a random verse and my eyes flew on Jeremiah 31v16 & 17: “Thus says the Lord: `Refrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears; For your work shall be rewarded, says the Lord. And they shall come back from the land of the enemy. There is hope in your future says the Lord, That your children shall come back to their own border`”. WOW!! Thank You Jesus. I immediately calmed down. It was going to be ok.

That very night I had a dream: I was packing up chairs with my youth leader and friend, Gillian, who at that time I didn’t know quite well never mind friends, and I was afraid to ask her about the money she had promised to give me(in the dream still). She was meant to give me something like 17586. She said she’s sorting it out but I shouldn’t worry about it and start getting excited because the money is already mine. I woke up with such a fresh faith! I didn’t even care about the numbers; all that I remembered was “Start getting excited and stop worrying, the money is yours”.

That Saturday I went to a woman’s prayer meeting and shared my story and this dream with the ladies. All of these ladies generously sowed into my life and the mission. One lady told me she doesn’t have anything on her at that moment, but she’ll come around to my house the next day. The next day, this woman who I hardly knew, the night before was only the 2^nd time I’ve seen her, this lady presented me with an envelope with R7000 in it!! WOW!! Thank You Jesus. I cried so much as I counted. God is so good.

I gave my tithes and paid my daddy back for the travel insurance that he helped out with and when you added all the money that everyone sowed into my life plus my R200 lol and you convert it to Thai Baht, it works out to 17568 Thai Baht! WOW! Thank You Jesus. Can you believe it??

As you know, I’m about to embark on another mission trip and that means I would need funds. My church is not a missionary sending church so I’ll have to go to individuals. I am not very confident and bold when it comes to asking people for money and sponsorships. So I’m praying a lot about that and reminding myself that it’s not for me, but for the growth of God’s Kingdom. Just today, I was emailing my pastor in Thailand and I asked what advice he had for me. And one point he gave me was that to make sure that I have enough funds. Right there, I just went back into a ball knowing that I need to step up_ but not as bad as I used to. I have a child like faith about this_ knowing that my God will supply all my needs according to His riches. And just now, as I was having quiet time, He reminded me again in Matthew 16v8-10: “But Jesus, being aware of it, said to them “O you of little faith, why do you reason among yourselves because you have brought no bread? Do you not yet understand or remember the five loaves of the five thousand and how many baskets you took up? Or the seven loaves of the four thousand and how many large baskets you took up?” – I know that Jesus was speaking to the disciples about the doctrines of the Pharisees and the Sadducees but also He was reminding them of His past miracles.

In the same way that He is now reminding me of His past miracle of provision for me. And it wasn’t just that R7000 once off, during my time in Thailand I would constantly get money in my account unaccounted for, I would get free meals and transport paid for. Once I took a taxi from one part of Bangkok to the other and the driver told me its ok, I don’t need to pay him. God is the God of the impossible. Where He leads, He feeds. So I’m putting on my child like faith knowing that my daddy has got me sorted. I won’t be silly and just wait for something to fall into my lap, I will listen and move as God directs. And I will not worry one bit. In the words of two of my favorite characters Timon and Pumbaa: Hakuna Matata_ No worries. **God’s got this 🙂 . Thank You Jesus!!

I love you, chat soon ^^,

Be ready_ be available

For the past few weeks I have just been feeling utterly purposeless here at work, in fact, in my life in general. I can’t wait to move on and do what I know I am destined for. I am involved in various ministries at church, I always jump at any opportunity to do outreaches, but I still just felt blank. I don’t know if it was because of my own frustrations in my life of everything standing still, or if it’s because everything seems halfhearted because I spend SOO much time in the office and doing nothing to impact others’ lives.

Last night I was feeling so helpless, I just wanted to sleep and do nothing. I didn’t even go to Bible school. I wanted to sleep but I couldn’t even do that. Something was eating at me. I decided to write in my journal. Just to cry out to the Lord.

The Bible says in Philippians 4 v6&7 “⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus”.

So I did that, I cried out to God, laying it all down on paper. He already knows what’s on my heart and what’s eating me; He knows more than I even know about myself. So I wrote down what I knew was eating at me _ this purposelessness. What point do I have here at PetroSA??!!! I don’t even know if people can see God’s light shine through me anymore?? Did they ever?? This morning I was reading my journal from when I was doing missions in Thailand. Among the entries was of when I had to do the interview for this very job. And I just smiled at how powerful God is. He really showed up in that time, I could see it and feel it and others could too. Such a powerful testimony! And in the entry, I prayed that if God wants me to get this job, may His light shine in the workplace, may He be exalted and not me. I was so ready to spread His love here at the office. Reading that, encouraged me to find that zeal again. So today as I walked in to the office, I prayed that God allow opportunities to talk to my colleagues about Him. And give me the boldness to follow through in the conversation. I was ready.

One of my colleagues, Sindiswa, is going through a particularly difficult time. Her contract is coming to an end here at PetroSA and because of the economic climate here, there is no chance for renewal or extension. She NEEDS to find another job_ she’s been looking. Going to countless unsuccessful interviews. Sometimes I don’t know what to say to her. But the other day I did. She had again just got news that a job she thought was hers came back as unsuccessful. And I told her that sometimes we go through things in our lives so that we are forced to completely rely on God and no one else. We are pushed to our limits, so that we know that God has none. We are to look to God, not our boyfriend, parents, friends or anyone else. Only the Lord. We go through tough times so that we can see that only God can get us out of that situation. I wasn’t sure if she understood what I meant_ I know I wouldn’t if the roles were reversed. When you’re at your worst, that’s NOT what you want to hear. This was last week I think.

A few minutes ago, she came to me to show me an daily devotional that was sent to her. It was titled: How God uses our stress for our good and His glory. I was stunned. Lol. God confirmed what I said in that daily devotional. I thought it was so wonderful.

We always think that we are too small and insignificant and we feel unworthy to receive anything from God. But God loves us. He loves us so much that He still takes time out to send us a word of encouragement. He uses everyday people like you and I to do His work, no matter where we are. He uses us even though we are not even aware of being used. And how wonderful is it to be used by Him. Lol. By this glorious King. He is so mighty, yet He cares so much that He doesn’t want us to feel terrible; He wants us to understand the situation we are in right now. To listen to Him.

Eish, I’m getting a series of revelations at once hahahaha. That’s ok. But I want to leave with you is this… be available. God is always using us. I mean, God used me to encourage Sindi. God used Sindi to open up a conversation about Him here at work. Now I have a fresh excitement of why I am here. His light still shines through me and others can see it. You might not realise it, but as you read and share His message, God is using you to spread His word. Be available, be ready. You are significant. Nothing can separate us from the love of God through Christ Jesus (Romans 8 v38&39). His love is constant, you are His child. So be ready to be used by your Daddy

“I’m convinced that God, who began this good work in you, will carry it through to completion on the day of Christ Jesus. being confident of this very thing, that he who has begun a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1 v6

Cheating on God

Someone once told me that when we sin, it’s like we’re cheating on God. That we are in a relationship with God, so when we choose to go astray even just for a moment… We are in fact cheating on Him. I grasped it then, but in a way it was still foreign. Not because I don’t sin though.

 

Today I understand. Today I feel like I don’t even deserve to speak to God or read His word. I feel like a hypocrite. Like I made out with someone who’s not my boyfriend and he knows about it. So today I feel too guilty to even speak to him. Because at the time I knew it was wrong and awful, in fact, I even had a little battle with a clear mind that what I’m about to do is wrong and yet I still went ahead.

 

My greatest desire, is to worship God forever. When I got saved in 2011_ the band in church was playing Worshiping You by Deluge. The bridge or chorus, whatever you call it says “I’m gonna worship you forever”. For a long time I didn’t know this song, all I remember was that line, I’m gonna worship You forever. That was what my heart was singing as I walked to the front, it’s what my heart sings every day_ I just want my whole being to be a worship song to You God. But every day, every SINGLE day I fail You.

I am not worthy of being called a child of the most high King. Yet, you call me daughter. I am not worthy of Your mercy, yet it’s renewed every day. Jesus, how?? How do you accept me when I hurt You over and over again. I keep falling in the same trap day after day. How Lord?

Lamentations 3V22, 23 is probably one of my most favorite and most quoted scriptures in my prayers, “Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not, They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness”

Lord, Your faithfulness and mercy is a mystery. You forgive us continually even though we are constantly missing the mark. You pick us up each day, because each day we fall short of the glory. I know that God is all forgiving… And that I never deserve it. But I’m not going to beat myself up… I will stand and ask for forgiveness.

Right now I feel too guilty to approach my King_ but God is merciful. I am trapped under this chain, but my God has the power to break every chain in Jesus name. Because there is power in the name of Jesus. Romans3V23 says “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” _ none of us deserve what we have in Christ Jesus. V24,25 “being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God has set forth as a propitiation by His blood, through faith, to demonstrate His righteousness because in His forbearance God had passed over the sins that were previously committed,” Because of my Father’s love, because He sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross, I have been set free from any curse, I have been forgiven.

Dear Lord, I am forever grateful for Your grace, for Your mercy. I am sorry for all the wrong I have done and right now Lord, I come before You to repent and ask that You please wash away all the sin in my life. Help me to walk a life worthy to be called Yours, worthy to be called a child of God. Lord, I know I can never truly be worthy of that title, and therefore I thank You, that even though I fall short of the glory of God, You have set me free and still accept me. The way You love and forgive is a mystery. I break every chain, I break this sinful chain in the name of Jesus. Your word says that nothing is impossible through You, and I believe that today. I believe that I am free from this curse. I am free. I will worship You all my day Lord. I give You all the praise and all of the Glory.

In Jesus name I pray_ AMEN.

Listening to The Voice

“List the characteristics of a Project Manager”, this was where it all began. This was the question that led to a 180º turn around in everything that I know. June 2012, I sat in my exam room stuck on one of the easiest questions for the mid-year Project Management exam- something I know I studied. Come on_ it was a list question, I always study lists! I went blank. I sat for more than 5 minutes trying to recall this simple answer but to no success. I started praying…and all I heard was “a project manager must be a God-fearing man”. Clearly this was my own mind right?.. but the thought/voice insisted. I thought about writing it down, I mean I had nothing else to write. One of three things could happen:

1. the lecturer would be never-minded and just give me zero for that question or;
2. the lecturer will be terribly mad and think I’m taking him for a joke, call me in and give me a big fat F for the entire paper; or
3. the lecturer himself is a God-fearing man and will give me the benefit of the doubt with ½ mark at least lol.

I took my chances.

I came back to my room and told my house – mates, Tobie and Monique what I just did. This led to a beautiful conversation well into the evening with just Monique and me discussing how we can recognize the Lord’s voice. I told her that for the longest time in my prayer time, I would hear missionary work –just that and nothing else – pop up into my head. To me it didn’t mean much but a constant voice/thought during prayer time, so I didn’t really pay much attention to it. In fact in this very conversation it was just something I mentioned and went on with something else I was talking about. After a while, it was Monique that brought it back and said that I should really consider praying about it and seeking why I constantly hear that, her reason: “I mean, I don’t hear it, so there should be a reason why you do”…

That’s how I found myself touching ground at Suvarnabhumi Airport on the evening of Sunday 5 May 2013, unaware of what battles I’ll encounter and victories the Lord will achieve for me. There’s no way of summarizing it (or at least I, “miss chatter box” don’t possess that skill yet lol), but to attempt to put it to you in one word – FAITH-SHAKING. (Ok, that was two words, forgive me). Never in my life would I believe that Jodeé Strydom would be half way across the world without a plan really. Without much of anything actually besides her suitcase full of clothes and excitement for whatever happens in the next two months.

Well 8 months later, I found myself in my Ladkrabang, Bangkok apartment overwhelmed with tears as my youth leader, P’Rung, sent me a video saying she’s a little too sick to come and see me off at the airport that night. As sad as I was, a part of me was 100% sure that I’m crying for nothing because I will see her again. It’s more than a year later and last week I almost started balling again when I messaged her “P’Rung, at the end of this year I will leave my job and become a missionary. Full time.”

And that’s where we are today. I have less than 11 months left to get my act together before I leave this world behind (that sounds like I’m going to die lol) but in a sense I will be dying. I have less than 11 months left before I die to myself and give my all to my Creator (Matthew 16V24). Be His vessel, led by His Spirit here on earth, listening to His voice. I’m going to need all of your help in preparation for this voyage. I don’t know where the Lord intends for me to settle down yet. I’m not sure about the finer details just yet, but as soon as I know_ you will too. For now all I know is that I have to pack up and go.

So today I’m asking you: Pray with me as I pray for clear direction in the months that lie ahead of me. Join me on this adventure as we follow the Lord where He leads us. You might not be going with me physically, but your prayers, thoughts and finances will be used to send this vessel to love those with the love of the Lord as He instructs us in Matthew 22V39. I’m asking you to please use this site to motivate and encourage not only me but others reading the blog, so please comment, send emails, anything. This journey isn’t going to be easy; I’m prepared for difficulties. You need to go through Winter to get to Spring time. I promise to be honest with you – tell you when its Winter, so that we can all experience the Spring time together.God has already prepared the victories(2 Chronicles 20V15), now it’s up to us, will we listen to His voice?

I’ll keep you updated on all my movements and more importantly, I’ll keep you updated on all His movements. Follow this site and together we’ll witness His plan unfold.

I love you. Chat soon ^^,